Un moment avec précision

I got cut today.
Sliced deep and stinging
by a little country lady
who wielded a ruler...
who made lines
on a birthday card
so her shaky wishes
could be deciphered.

I got cut today.
Sliced slow and burning
by a little old man
trying to cross the road
straw hat in his eyes
while some tosser
drowning in 'product'
falsely buoyed by malcontent,
called him fuckwit.

I got cut today.
Shattered glass contusions.
it was the exuberance and awkwardness
of being 17
and how easily,
my extra jaded years
quell the questions.

SKU

Dust

Image from Fern & Frank Peat,"The Mother Goose Alphabet",1929

I lOve zeds

All Hail Delerium of the Endless

What a beautiful little muffin she is.....

This is when she is little and these pictures come from the drawing implements of Jill Thompson who drew the tiny Endless family for Neil Gaiman's superlative interpretation of "The Sandman".

ANDDDD.....

This -




Gifted to me through my brother's generosity and e-bayerrific tendencies.
See now this is what happens. She gets lost & Barnabus (Destruction's Dog)
has to find her.

He goes to each of her siblings to ask them.

"Before Barnabus could speak" Destiny says "Little Dog there are no pages in my book that state my sister is lost"..... so it remains that she is fine and will be found, provided Barnabus continues on his arduous journey.

I think that's the feeling I get when people are worried that something has happened and I know it hasn't.

I am reading "The Book of Life".

I'm also thinking this is why I see the answers in black & white, in a few short paragraphs, which to the universe they are.

You wanna know what to do? "Confront your father, quit your job, don't marry the first one, go to Guatemala in 5 years, no more orange juice you have a prospective ulcer"

Great.
Now what do I expect you to do for the next 7300 days with all the in-betweens?

In-betweens are a problem; even tho they are most pressing they seem the least real.

In my anomolous existence I seem to be unlearning the echoing meaning in order to not be crucified.
If I wanna fulfil my ACTUAL mission (which is not, much to my dismay, absolution) then I will probably be metaphorically crucified over n over n over. I know this.

Then Why oh why would I wanna do it??

Coz the book says........ and I love you guys........

See my conundrum. Fluctuating in it's command of me but ever present in it's choice.

Soundtrack - Why I do believe it's new Placebo...........

To Japan and Back...

With the generous and e-bayerrific tendency of my sibling in me talented. Look at that those where now this happens are. She is perplexed to the road and Barnabus (the dog of destruction) she must be found. He goes asking respectively to those of her sibling. "Barnabus" before being possible to speak, as for destiny "as for the puppy seat my sisters over there".... It means that it is not the page of my book which shows the fact that it is lost. So, in at that difficult travelling which Barnabus which was offered to that her being good, being found, continues and remains. I who am my feeling cause, when the people where I have known something which is thought are worried profit do not having. I am "this book-reading life". In addition as for me with such reason I to be black and the answering of white, think of that you see in the paragraph where the small amount which is short to outer space. Wanna you have known what which it should do? "In your father, your work which is stopped, Guatemala of 5 years which go with first one which does not get married, in the face of the orange juice above this which is the future ulcer in you" it is not good, it is large. Now do I expect that what the next 7300 days of all in-betweens it does? In-betweens is problem; Those seem most ways and tho which substance has pushed least. In my anomolous existence I seem the unlearning way because meaning of echo is not controlled. If I wanna achieves, (, are not many to exemption and my confusion) my actual delegation, perhaps then I was controlled on n figuratively, it is n which is ended. I have known this. Then wanna of Ohio state I why in order to do that? Why? ........ And I the person........ look at the Coz my puzzle solving problem where the book says that it loves. That fluctuation is my order, but presently of that it is fine. As for that the new false medicine........... - I why believe that is, sound track?

Image from www.bjork.com

You are Chihiro/Sen! Sometimes you come across as

a whiny, spoiled brat, but you have a good

heart and are brave when you have to be. You

just have a little growing up to do!


Which Spirited Away character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Don't Just Stand There Girl, Say Something......

I don't want to say what I want to say, and I can't really say what I should say til' I know how to say it but I like to write something so here is a list of the books on my bedside table, in various states of "read"...........

* John Ronald Ruehl TOLKIEN - Tree and Leaf/Smith of Wootton Major/The Homecoming of Beorthnoth

Belonged to my well-read father when he had 70's hair. Essays and short stories one of which is 'Leaf by Niggle', a story I love very much. Niggle is supposed to be doing what we are all "supposed" to be doing but he procrastinates and makes art instead which consequently creates him an afterworld he loves to be in. Hmmm. Interestingly when I was recounting it to someone, not having read it for years I said he was creating the afterworld for his wife who had already "moved on". This is in fact not true but a neat little indication of my psyche.

* Paul Benson - GREAT STORIES OF THE WILD WEST.

I say hooray to this 2nd hand find. Hoping for a little gunslinging and a few painted ladies I have been rewarded with interpretations of some fine western 'legends' - Butch Cassidy, Buffalo Bill, Billy the Kid and Jesse James. YAY.

* Aldous Huxley - THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION/HEAVEN AND HELL

A thoughtful and well placed gift from my housemate, Prince-o-the-faeries. Popular in the 60's, it's name taken from a Blake Poem -The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.....
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite" A handy reinforcement of my often surreal and abundant perception, it is a book which I am savouring and slightly frightened of.

*William Golding - RITES OF PASSAGE

Have started it twice but have not been in a pompous enough frame of mind for the typical english countenance and I get loud voiceovers in my head ( my internal chatter was scottish for a couple of weeks after finishing Trainspotting)

* LINDA GOODMAN"S SUNSIGNS

1968 version and quite chauvinistic. All about woman serving their man (star-sign specific) via subtle manipulation and ego stroking whilst secretly having complete control! hmmm?

* Kate Millett - FLYING

On my 2nd readable journey through this stream of consciousness memoir about the 60's. I love the 60's!

*Brian Agar - THE SEX WEB

Do not be alarmed or disconcerted by the fact that you know not who Brian Agar is. I seem to have a penchant for bad second-hand racy romance novels, especially ones with kitsch covers. Here we have a photo of a naked 60's woman in the middle of, yes, a (sex)web. People like Raoul Milhard! and Carol Lovely! support the hero Don Maxwell who "Overnight was launched headlong into a vicious contest in which victory hinged on the ruthless conquest of stalking competitors and success with three desirable women, struggling against the temptation to be the new jungle lord"!!! Let's hope these woman have read Linda Goodman's Sunsigns.

*Temple Grandin - THINKING IN PICTURES AND OTHER REPORTS FROM MY LIFE WITH AUTISM

An amazing woman, who drafts complicated engineering projects on the screen in her mind, Temple Grandin generally talks about cows. She has designed leading world ideals in the cattle herding industry and that is mostly what we hear about. I will perservere however, as one day I will somehow specialise in the field.
Of Autism, not cows.

*Kirk Hamilton - SHEP HALLIDAY

A yellowing, coverless Western magazine from the Cleveland Publishing Co. Pty Ltd whose logo is an Indian.
It has chapter names like "Dynamite escape" and "Looking for a jezebel" and proclaims Shep Halliday as "the fastest man with a Colt in all of Oklahoma" but he uses his powers for good not evil coz he is the town marshal.

* PALGRAVE'S GOLDEN TREASURY (WITH ADDITIONAL POEMS)

Bacon, Both Brownings, Byron, Coleridges x 3, Dryden, Jonson, Keats, Kipling, Milton, Moore, Pope, The Rossettis, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tennyson, Wordsworth ........ Lovely.

* Kurt Vonnegut - BLUEBEARD

Love Vonnegut.

*Neil Gaiman - the SANDMAN:SEASON OF MISTS

Love The Dreaming. Love Delirium. Am DElerium.. Love the mythical and literary references. All this contributed to the survival of my soul throughout my teen years. Ironically my teen years led to the destruction of my comic collection. Step in: My good friend Tiny Pen who has been actively remedying this for 'bout 2 years now. Thankyou Tiny Pen.

Gaiman is good friends with Tori Amos. I like this fact.

*THE COMPLETE IDIOT"S GUIDE TO LEARNING LATIN.

Quamquam via long est polliceor meum optimum facere.

"Although the road is long, I promise to do my best"

*Some DICTIONARIES.

I thank the Universe for: rain, the realisation that on many levels free-will is an illusion, sugar cookies, solitude.

Word For The DAy - Transmogrification - n - The process of changing/transforming as if by magic.

Songs - It Ain't me Babe - Cash version, Lullaby for Syd Barrett - Psychic TV, Track 6 - Animal Collective, Hoist That Rag - Tom Waits, Dylan, Magnetic Fields.

28 Ks Hath January

I will tell you that I am a lot tougher than I thought I was.
(Even tougher than when I become my formidable alter-ego Rambo Fighting Bitch & she kicks heads off).

See I haven't been very well lately due to my fasting (love/hate relationship with food) and my meditation (sheer exhaustion) so when my Lovely Friend Helen invited me to go hiking in "The Prom" Vic Aust. I thought "Pfft".

I do, however quite a bit love "The Prom", I have been craving some real-nature-night-air reality & I quite like Lovely Helen (& her Naughty Daughter Kate).

In light of my current change-everything phase I said "sho' thing"

She said 12km. She said 2.5 hours. She said easy.That's what they told her to say.

"Pfft"

I looked a little bit like this.



I felt a little bit like this.



But "The Prom" looks like this.



and this -



and even this -



So even if it was 28.8 kms and took oh, about 10 hrs, I had a beautiful-solitary-meaning-of-life kind of time, I now know I'm tough and I saw a snake.



I love snakes.

I was walking by my self (carrying my happy 15kg) on a gravelly-mountainy-feel-your-universal insignificance and conversely-complete-omnipotence kind of track in between Little Waterloo Bay & The Lighthouse Track and I see him slithered across the path. Everything is black because the Prom got a bit of a cleansing-by-fire last year (& is just the Phoenix you would imagine) and so this metre and a half long thing could be a stick "tra la la" (I say to myself) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" (I say to The Prom)

Not stick, 'tis snake.

Highly unimpressed by my girly antics he cocks his head (I swear he grins) and slithers neatly away.

Ah, you know when there is a big spider in your room and after he's gone you can still feel him on you plus lots of other little spiders even tho they are not there? Yesssssssss.

Black trees black plants even some of the regrowth is black (tis black fella's land) so I was plunged into an experience much real-er than any silly spider.

Happy snakes coming out of the mountain-grain like I'd been sharing my time with Hunter.S.



My snake was not an enemy tho.
Signifying the rising of "Kundalini" /energy and "transmuting the poisons of the past", I couldn't have been a luckier witness.

Plus he helped me get my soul back, as did the glorious creature peeking out from the top of my page, but that 'tis another story for another day.

I thank the Universe for : It's incomprehensible glory and perfection, books, words, rocks, rainbows, my brother(s), vanilla ice-cream, giving my soul back and The Parker-Greens who are just my very favourites.

Word For The Day - Kundalini - n. (Hinduism) - Energy that lies dormant at the base of the spine until it is activated, as by the practice of yoga, and channeled upward through the chakras in the process of spiritual perfection.

Upsidepic

'Tis dark place I dwelleth presently.
I can feel the daemons and truth and I c'aint get no sleep that's not plagued by scary stuf.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge says this -

'So two nights passed: the night's dismay
Saddened and stunned the coming day.
Sleep, the wide blessing, seemed to me
Distemper's worst calamity.'

And I agree but tis' two months passed.

Apparently I have a little part of soul missing.

I will get it back on Sunday. Holy Happy Mirthful Sunday.

I look forward to this.

Midnight

'Tis now the very witching time of night;
When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world : now could I drink hot blood ,
And do such business as the bitter day
Would quake to look on .....

W.S (Hamlet)

Sometimes wonderful things happen to me.
Because I seem to have high expectations of "wonderful" these things can also be cataclysmic.
Tis ok. I can handle it.
I just wonder about the effect on everyone else and the sometimes arduous road to understanding.