'Bright Eyes'
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Bless You Mrs Virginia Woolf.
66 years ago you filled your greatcoat with rocks and descended into the River Ouse.
Perhaps you died so the "rest of us should value life more". I know I do.
I fight my own fight and I shall continue to fight,
and write
and fight for my right.
I applaud you for lasting as long as you did. It's a ravenous world.
Thankyou.
"I have a feeling I shall go mad. I cannot go on longer in these terrible times. I hear voices and cannot concentrate on my work. I have fought against it but cannot fight any longer."
VW, suicide note.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Word for The Day
EXONERATION
The act of being freed from blame or duty.
Oxford 1960
Man, it feels goooood. :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Questionnaire
(As pilfered from page 96 of "Love All The People" Bill Hicks)
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Absolution from my mission. Or failing that- Never having to get out of bed with no dire consequences thus.
2. What is your greatest fear? my friends becoming Zombies and tricking me into believing they're not and them chasing me all at once.
3. With which historical figure do you most identify? Jesus. For the people getting too scared to believe me (while alive). Emily Dickinson. For the sitting in the tree and watching everyone file to church and knowing she went to "Heaven" everyday, and never being published (while alive). Simone Weil in my attitude to 'the underdog' and my desire to help them to my own denigration.
4. Who do you most admire? Um. Anyone with the will to go beyond everyday parameters and fight for what they believe in.
5. What do you most deplore about others? The things I deplore about myself and/or cannot accept that I am also capable of.
6. What vehicles do you own? My two little legs.
7. What is your greatest extravagance? Melancholy and Sleep.
8. What do you always carry with you? My overworked brain and a feeling that I can't shake that I so don't belong here and my tobacco and rice crackers and my MP3 player.
9. What makes you most depressed? Parents that kill their children. Children who kill their parents, not so much.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? It's fine until I catch my own eye in the mirror and we both silently scream WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
11. What is your favourite smell? Baby Powder.
12. What is your most unappealing habit? Hmmm. I smoke a lot. I drink a lot. I get frenzied about stuff.
13. What is your favourite word? Cardigan ( Which YAYYY I discovered last night was my first real word after Dadadadad. The next one was Refrigerator. Go figure. I dunno).
14. What is your favourite building? Nup. Gimme the sky anyday. (I can't develop a connection to buildings coz they keep fucking changing. I like the oak tree in my childhood house. Is that a building? of course it is. A retro building)
15. What is your favourite journey? From this impermanent reality to the others I enter when I sleep. The way back? Not so much.
16. What or who is your greatest lovE? BOOKS.
17. Which living person do you most despise? Glenn Thomas.
18. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Cool, dude, action, wicked.
19. What is your greatest regret? That I ever believed I wasn't amazing.
20. When and where were you the happiest? One single moment hey? I know.
When I was up the front of the bus at the "sorry your dad beats you all up come hang out with us for a week, we won't tell him where you are" camp group to say thankyou and yay for the other leaders and the kids all started spontaneously cheering for me. It nearly killed me :)
21. How do you relax? Beer and medication. And yes that's meant to be a 'c'. I wish it was a 't', ideally it's a 't' but we're being honest.
22. What single thing would improve the quality of your life? A frontal lobotomy.
23. Which talent would you most like to have? Invisibility.
24. What would your motto be? Don't scream don't vomit don't scream don't vomit it's really okay.
25. What keeps you awake at night? Spiralling thru time.
26. How would you like to die? With a stranger singing me a song.
27. How would like to be remembered? Sweet and kind and some kind of catalyst.
(Easy/Lucky/Free - Bright Eyes)
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Absolution from my mission. Or failing that- Never having to get out of bed with no dire consequences thus.
2. What is your greatest fear? my friends becoming Zombies and tricking me into believing they're not and them chasing me all at once.
3. With which historical figure do you most identify? Jesus. For the people getting too scared to believe me (while alive). Emily Dickinson. For the sitting in the tree and watching everyone file to church and knowing she went to "Heaven" everyday, and never being published (while alive). Simone Weil in my attitude to 'the underdog' and my desire to help them to my own denigration.
4. Who do you most admire? Um. Anyone with the will to go beyond everyday parameters and fight for what they believe in.
5. What do you most deplore about others? The things I deplore about myself and/or cannot accept that I am also capable of.
6. What vehicles do you own? My two little legs.
7. What is your greatest extravagance? Melancholy and Sleep.
8. What do you always carry with you? My overworked brain and a feeling that I can't shake that I so don't belong here and my tobacco and rice crackers and my MP3 player.
9. What makes you most depressed? Parents that kill their children. Children who kill their parents, not so much.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? It's fine until I catch my own eye in the mirror and we both silently scream WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
11. What is your favourite smell? Baby Powder.
12. What is your most unappealing habit? Hmmm. I smoke a lot. I drink a lot. I get frenzied about stuff.
13. What is your favourite word? Cardigan ( Which YAYYY I discovered last night was my first real word after Dadadadad. The next one was Refrigerator. Go figure. I dunno).
14. What is your favourite building? Nup. Gimme the sky anyday. (I can't develop a connection to buildings coz they keep fucking changing. I like the oak tree in my childhood house. Is that a building? of course it is. A retro building)
15. What is your favourite journey? From this impermanent reality to the others I enter when I sleep. The way back? Not so much.
16. What or who is your greatest lovE? BOOKS.
17. Which living person do you most despise? Glenn Thomas.
18. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Cool, dude, action, wicked.
19. What is your greatest regret? That I ever believed I wasn't amazing.
20. When and where were you the happiest? One single moment hey? I know.
When I was up the front of the bus at the "sorry your dad beats you all up come hang out with us for a week, we won't tell him where you are" camp group to say thankyou and yay for the other leaders and the kids all started spontaneously cheering for me. It nearly killed me :)
21. How do you relax? Beer and medication. And yes that's meant to be a 'c'. I wish it was a 't', ideally it's a 't' but we're being honest.
22. What single thing would improve the quality of your life? A frontal lobotomy.
23. Which talent would you most like to have? Invisibility.
24. What would your motto be? Don't scream don't vomit don't scream don't vomit it's really okay.
25. What keeps you awake at night? Spiralling thru time.
26. How would you like to die? With a stranger singing me a song.
27. How would like to be remembered? Sweet and kind and some kind of catalyst.
(Easy/Lucky/Free - Bright Eyes)
Monday, March 17, 2008
waiting for the day the unicorns hang on the wall.
Oh Merciless NOW.........................
sprightly worthless words
spout from inchoate mentalities
AND CLUB ME.
Beat my brow blue.
Impugn me with your Godless masks.
In lack
For lack
Alack.
sprightly worthless words
spout from inchoate mentalities
AND CLUB ME.
Beat my brow blue.
Impugn me with your Godless masks.
In lack
For lack
Alack.
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