Tis Time

Hi. Life is weird.

I think this thought almost as often as I think "I love everything" and "this is fucked".
The weirdest shit goes on. Everyday. Constantly.
Anyway there is power in this change monster that is running around.
It is a gleeful change monster, happy to get us to do things we wouldn't normally do and especially things that we try really hard not to do but still wanna.

I guess this is ok. I guess through this we grow.

I have found something that is sustaining me beautifully and I am very lucky.

I hope you find it too.

Que sera sera.

Thanks to tiny satanist, prince o the faeries and o course tiny pen.

I say Fuck off to everyone who holds the rope; I'm taking my rope and putting it away and going home to my roses. so there.

What would I need fucking rope for anywey?!

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"I do not consider the humanoids to really be there. They are merely holographic projections of what they think they are supposed to be. You are what you pretend to be. And even though they are not really there, the humanoids manage to be the bane of my existence. And yet I do not like to see another human cry. And I want them to love me"

Luster from "The Anomalies"

Happy Eunice

The Rules of Frig (Out of the mouths of babes)

I successfully tracked down the kid in the picture and he has shared the Rules of Frig. Thanks Tommy. He told me they teach it all over. There are more rules apparently but he had to go, he said my presence was making him question things.

First - You must suffer for the sake of acceptance.

Second- When you become an adult you must cease to be a child regardless of how conducive this is to happiness.

Third- You do not know who you are.
(If you give someone money tho, they will happily define you)

Fourth - Your image is all that counts. Spend long hours perfecting it so the essence does not show.

Fifth - Do not follow your desires. This has been known to cause dangerous questioning of the nature of things, in turn affecting your level of social acceptability. (Contravening first rule)

Sixth - Shhhh

Seventh - Smile : )

"These are the commandments that no warrior of light can obey" PC

Soundtrack: Don't think twice it's alright - Bobby D, Heartattack and Vine - Tom Waits, I Wouldn't do that to you - DEVO, Bring on the Dancing Horses - Echo & The Bunnymen

Word For The Day - Etiolate (verb) 1. To become blanched or whitened, as when grown without sunlight

I Thank the Universe for - Answers.

The Age Old Battle

Beautiful picture removed due to preciousness and angst of artiste. You would have liked it. You might have even told your friends or gone to his website.

"A warrior knows that an angel and a devil are both competing for his sword hand"

(Paulo Coelho)

Struggling With Duality

There was a garden
In the beginning
Before the fall
Before Genesis

There was a tree there
A tree of knowledge
Sophia would insist
You must eat of this

Original sin?
No, I don't think so
Original sinsuality
Original sin?
No, it should be
Original sinsuality
Original sin?
No, I don't think so
Original sinsuality

Yaldaboath
Saklas
I'm calling you
Samael
You are not alone
I say
You are not alone
In your darkness
You are not alone
Baby
You are not alone

Tori Amos



Clap Hands

Sane, sane, they’re all insane,
Fireman’s blind, the conductor is lame
A cincinnati jacket and a sad-luck dame
Hanging out the window with a bottle full of rain
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands

Said roar, roar, the thunder and the roar
Son of a bitch is never coming back here no more
The moon in the window and a bird on the pole
We can always find a millionaire to shovel all the coal
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands

Said steam, steam, a hundred bad dreams
Going up to harlem with a pistol in his jeans
A fifty-dollar bill inside a palladin’s hat
And nobody’s sure where mr. knickerbocker’s at

Roar, roar, the thunder and the roar
Son of a bitch is never coming back here no more
Moon in the window and a bird on the pole
Can always find a millionaire to shovel all the coal
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands

I said steam, steam, a hundred bad dreams
Going up to harlem with a pistol in his jeans
A fifty-dollar bill inside a palladin’s hat
And nobody’s sure where mr. knickerbocker’s at

Shine, shine, a roosevelt dime
All the way to baltimore and running out of time
Salvation army seemed to wind up in the hole
They all went to heaven in a little row boat
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands
Clap hands, clap hands, clap hands, clap hands

Tom Waits

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So yeah, Clap Hands..........

The Rules of The Frig !?

YAY

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Sea Nimbus Your Superpower is Supernatural Your Weakness is Handshakes Your Weapon is Your Star Rusty Your Mode of Transportation is Ambulance

What's your Superhero Name?

gluckliche Pilze.... !!

Life feels like one big happy joke right now but i guess the jokes on me.

The distance between here, everywhere and nowhere is often being mistaken as real. In an era when I would almost rather typing a word and clickin' on translate than flipping the pages of a dusty old dictionary (however prolific) I would say we're ever closer. Those of us who can sometimes reach into the farthest recesses of our infinite collective psyche are discussing this, as you read, with your souls.

All I have ever been mourning is the death of an ideal.

Chantastic Indeed!

Brain sucked dry

No Input of note

'cept I need to find a job that pays me for reading & smoking pot : )

Come to the edge, he said

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them.

They flew.

(Guillame Apollonaire)

Ok. Happy pastime this.

1. I get to purge myself of a percentage of concepts in my overworked brain.
2. It actually seems like it means something coz it's all bloggy and published on the screen and such.
(Makes me feel important)
3. You get a semblance of the vibe that someone is actually listening but..... wait for it..... they're not!

Tonight was a special night. It was a "Magical Ceremony" for some of the kids I work with (my class) (er, on the, er ship)
It was special for many reasons. The one I'm dwelling on is kinda selfish I suppose but .... neh.

Have been workin with particular kid for 'bout 2 years. I shall give him the pseudonym "Resilience".

Anyway Resilience has had things happen to him that would make most peoples little toes curl. Most particularly he has an issue with women. His Mum is very mean to him. Anyway, I am not mean to him. I am in fact ultra caring and respectful of him. That can be velly velly scarwy for him.

I feel very connected to young Resilience and about Feb this year I made him a cd of all the songs I listen to when things aren't kosher in my world, I thought he'd be able to relate. Not much came of it (except we decided 7 Nation Army is a good song to scream to)

Anyway, Anyway. Often I wonder if I'm even helping. The more he relates to me, the more distance he puts between us so in effect the longer we communicate the further away he gets. Part of this ceremony tonight involved each kid choosing the song that had had the greatest impact on their life and explaining why (yah, u see where it's goin) . Resilience chose Track 1 from my cd. I Won't Back Down sung by Johnny Cash. (Did Tom Petty write it or Cash? would welcome input) He said this song made him feel powerful and in control of his life and way more able to take risks. The rest of the class were whooping and shit, shouting to me to come and dance "It's Johnny Cash, it's your song" Annnnnnnnnyway I went up the front and you know what happened? Resilience looked right at me and said "it's our song"

Ah Yes.

Sometimes we need validation.
And sometimes
sometimes
we get it.

Anyway, I raise a toast to my class of 2005. What you have given me young Jedis, you will never know.

I have finished collecting my belongings that were strewn around the house after last nights date with Miller (astronauts drink Miller). I had a lovely time. I dig existential conversation and I dig the Monkeylord's cookin. I have a real problem at the moment with going to bed tho. I just don't wanna. Then when the sun comes up I looovve to sleep. It may have something to do with the inherent change in everything surrounding me or could it be that puncture on my neck that just won't heal? I dunna like the rules. If I wanna sleep from 5am til 1pm then I'm allowed. There have been experiments where humans deprived of external influences ie. natural light and knowledge of the time for 6 weeks have 'defaulted' to aforementioned sleeping pattern so maybe I'm just doin what comes naturally. I'm sure that'll be an acceptable reason for my boss, don't you?

I thank the Universe for sunglasses, free will, and housemate with horns who gave me watermelon for my brekky.

Soundtrack - Hanging Over - BLUR

Word For The Day - Emancipate (verb) - 1. To free from restraint of any kind, especially the inhibitions of tradition.

Bonus Word - Emancipationist (noun) - One who supports or brings about emancipation.

I Love my blog. Word to the weird Mc cyber land.

Soundtrack: Object - The Cure

I used to like NIN but my angsty ethereal manchild housemate is playing them while he does the dishes and it's makin me wanna flykick things. Not healthy. I feel I may actually be over Reznor's tongue in cheek destruction. He should go 'n have a little cry, maybe talk to Morrissey about personal expression. Ah dear. I like to go get drunk with my brother now. Productive, joyful things just ain't cutting it today. Maybe I should talk to Reznor about self-expression.

Definately doubting my committment to Sparklemotion

Am so vindicated yet so confused.
I know how it's meant to be but will we make it? Will I make it?
Am I really on the verge of finding a society that understands?

I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS DELUSIONAL.
NOW I ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

Not that I don't already.

I LOVE EVERYTHING. BUT I WANNA GO HOME.

If I can just master this infernal language maybe I can really explain it..... If I don't explode.

Soundtrack to these musings:

Take Meta Mars - The Flaming Lips
Little Earthquakes _ Tori Amos
Swimsuit Issue - Sonic Youth
Rainy Day Woman (No12&35) - Bobby D
Since I Fell For You - Nina Simone?

(Yes this tiny piece of random angst took me 5 songs! More in fact)

I Thank the Universe for - Random playlists, Tori, sedative substances, my friends

Word For The Day: Nympholepsy (Noun) - 1. An ecstasy supposed to be inspired by nymphs
2.A frenzy or rapt state induced by craving for the unattainable